Alternative MedicineScience

100% Natural Stress Relief and Much Much More!

You know all those people trying to tell you that x product is a natural way to be healthy? You know, like the people trying to sell you green tea to lose weight, or the people trying to sell you megavitamins, or something questionable.

Well, I’m here to tell you a 100% natural way of maintaining healthfulness that makes you feel great, and it’s absolutely free! All it requires is your hand.

Before I get to it, some of the benefits of this completely natural technique include:

The secret to brightening your day, in case you haven’t clicked on the above links, is masturbation. Really, there’s nothing wrong with it. Most women do it. If you’re like me and have no religious convictions restraining you then there is absolutely nothing morally wrong with it because it doesn’t harm anybody and benefits yourself.

No need to get wrapped up in some complicated sexual relationship, to buy clothes and cosmetics to attract boys, all you need is a hand.

The reason why I’m here, talking openly about this, is because it’s so stigmatized. Whoever you are, you probably found this post awkward and all because of your social inclinations not to talk about it, but that same awkwardness toward this topic is the same thing that gives both girls and boys infinite self-shame for something that’s completely normal, completely natural, completely beneficial.

Now just take all that awkwardness and get over it.

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5 Comments

  1. jackiestone
    December 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm —

    hear hear!

  2. TheNerd
    December 12, 2009 at 1:19 pm —

    Preach it!

  3. vreify
    December 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm —

    You need a citation for general stress relief. I think a good one might be (God 1996, personal communication).

  4. December 12, 2009 at 3:03 pm —

    YES

  5. December 13, 2009 at 2:23 am —

    Yeah, sometimes, I feel like the only thing people fear more than terrorist is confronting their sexuality.

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