Suspension of Disbelief: Resident Evil: Retribution
Generally speaking, all of the Resident Evil movies have been pretty great. Even if you’re not a fan of the video games or if you haven’t seen all of the movies that come before one… you were likely to enjoy any one of the films. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the newest release. This is definitely the biggest movie-related disappointment for me in a long long time.
Title: Resident Evil: Retribution
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Actors: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory and Michelle Rodriquez
Where do I even start with this?
We’ve seen Alice go through a lot of shit. She’s had to defeat the queen, defeat big bag Umbrella Corp projects, run away from zombies, see her friends die, feel bad for little kids, get hopped up on the t-virus to be all insane and she has nearly died like … a hundred times. Well… all of that happens all over again in this movie. No, really…. the red queen, the same zombies, the same friends… everything. It just happens all over again. But this time – with a lot of slow motion. In this film Alice has been caught by the Umbrella Corporation and she has to get out of their giant testing facility that has a bunch of fake environments in it. That’s… about it.
There’s a lot of fighting. Alice flips around a bunch and kills zombies and things, so that’s cool. The fight scenes, as with most of Anderson’s fight scenes, are really well done, unique and fun to watch.
Ummmmmmm…..That’s all I’ve got.
I’m pretty sure 90% of this movie was in slow motion (okay, not that much…). The entire opening sequence is slow motion and it’s incredibly boring. Honestly, it felt like there was so much slow motion because there wasn’t enough movie to actually fill 1.5-2 hours, so they did it just to kill time. It was ineffective and laaame.
There was no story in this film. There was a little bit about the Red Queen, but nothing really interesting. And it seemed like all the story that there was was just old story being reused. I enjoy a good fight scene, but I’d like my films to have something more than that, this didn’t. It was set up to be more like a video game than a movie. There was an overall mission, with smaller missions in between and these missions were even delivered to the viewer in a video game like way… there was nothing realistic about the film at all. It was 100% predictable.
The script in this film was absolutely dreadful. Ada Wong was the worst character I’ve seen on screen in ages. It seemed like ALL her lines were taken directly out of a poorly scripted video game and used simply to move Alice along through her mission. The acting was so bad that it couldn’t even save the horrific script. Milla Jovovich has been a great actor through the other movies, but her entire role was dragged down by the people around her. I literally laughed out loud 5 or 6 times as how incredibly cliche and bad the acting/script was. It was actually just super awkward in some parts it was so bad.
Because there was no story and it seemed like the script was written by a 7 year old… there was no character development at all. We saw a bit of a soft side of Alice, but that was it, nothing we hadn’t seen before. I mean, if the point of making the movie is to stick some stick-thin girls into leather suits and have them jump around for a while – then congrats, it’s been accomplished. But if it was meant to be a progression in the series that helps us learn more about Alice, the other characters, Umbrella… etc… (which, it should be!) then… it was a massive fail.
This film is such a remarkable demonstration of how our standards of film have decreased so intensely while costing us more and more to produce. There is nothing! not a single! thing! about this film that makes it worthy of your dollars being spent. It is poor script writing, poor character development, poor acting… etc etc etc. Is this the sort of thing we want to support? I don’t think so. The only thing that gives me hope is that it has been given such horrible ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, so at least the world knows that it’s shit! And maybe, for the next film, Anderson can pick it up a bit.
Oh, and btw – the “evil goes global” tagline is SUPER misleading.
I give this movie .5 Ada Wong heads out of 5. I really can’t give it more than that, but I feel like giving it “zero” is too much of an insult to Milla.