FeminismReligion and Spirituality

The “Truth” About Contraception

A video on the Franciscan Daughters of Mary website, titled “You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception” has a lot of fascinating commentary on a range of subjects, from contraception to homosexuality to pedophilia! The pictures are vaguely related to the content, there are long moments of silence followed by random comments. Delicious.

Step-by-step, I’ll tell you what this video purports in my most fine level of snark. Once again, I’ve taken one for the team and killed a few brain cells watching it and taking notes. I think this is supposed to be aimed at teens, but I’m really not certain. It’s definitely no graphic novel.

The video starts out by saying you release invisible, undetectable chemicals called pheromones while fertile that make men attracted to you. Any other time, you are not releasing those chemicals and are confusingly less desirable to men, who only know to sex at the wimminz when they’re spewing hormones. (That includes any time she’s not ovulating, too, right?)

While you’re pregnant, you’re not releasing those chemicals and are therefore unattractive. To men. So, any time a man wants to put his penis in a pregnant lady, it’s just a sympathy bang. Thanks for taking one for the team, fellas!

According to this video, 99% of women are ‘contracepting’. The poor confused menz, what are they to do when all these wimminz are on hormones or using condoms keeping the pheromones all bottled up?

Since the contraceptives are making women unattractive, they have to belittle themselves by putting on makeup and wearing slutty clothes to attract those bewildered males of our species.

They cite a study from the seventies on a group of monkeys in which injecting all the females of the group with depo provera caused the alpha male to start having sex with all the other male monkeys. Birth control is causing teh gay!

It’s pointed out that the World Health Organization (WHO) considers hormonal birth control class 1 carcinogens, which means they’ve been proven to be directly causal for certain cancers. The official statement acknowledges that hormonal birth control has been shown to slightly increase the risk of breast, cervical, and liver cancers while halving the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers. WHO says the benefits definitely outweigh the risks. But CANCER.

Birth control is secretly causing lots of deaths because it’s not something we screen for during an autopsy!

Because pharmaceutical companies are sued and held accountable for products with serious side effects, you shouldn’t take any pills ever!

Sometimes, when a lady is taking birth control, an egg can get fertilized but then be unable to implant, so it gets aborted! In reality-land, we call this a “miscarriage”. In Daughters of Mary-land, birth control is killing 7-12 milion babies a year because of an inability to implant! The study they cite is called “Infant Homicides Through Contraceptives” so I’m sure you’re not surprised about those numbers of their use of the term ‘baby’ when referring to something that looks way more like an alien than a human being.

All the estrogen from people on birth control is getting peed out and contaminating our water systems, causing gender-confused mutations in fish. They’d probably also use this as a cause of teh gay.

Somehow this segues into 1/7 couples suffering from infertility.

Increased use of birth control is causing people to cheat on their spouses and have all kinds of crazy, casual sex.

Teens are being taught about birth control, so therefore they’re having more sex. Or something. (They’re going to do it anyway, but who cares about equipping them with the tools to keep themselves safe!)

There was a 30% increase in the number of homosexual couples between 2000-2005, which is apparently related to birth control because Reasons.

There are more abortions thanks to failed contraception because “more than half reported contraception used in the month they got pregnant”. Totally not taking into account things like condoms breaking or missing a pill or all those other bothersome variables of human error. Or that ‘in the month’ doesn’t mean ‘every day, every time’.

There is no population problem! The whole world could live comfortably in Texas! Because New York City is a functional place where a lot of people live. Except, have you been there? I haven’t, the biggest city I’ve been in is Kansas City and it’s crowded enough there to make me think that the whole population of Earth living in Texas would be an absolute living hell.

Humans are at risk of extinction because of lower birth rates due to contraception use. Seriously. Extinction. The nearly 7 billion people on the planet are going to go extinct in the next hundred-or-so years.

We’re living with the “birth control mentality: this idea that we have the right to decide when and how life comes about”. In the background, it says “My body! My choice!” as if that’s the problem. Because having full control over your body and your life and whether or not you want a baby inside you is totally not your choice. Just leave it to God!

It starts to sound like they’re praising in vitro fertilization for creating life, and instead bash it for number of lost fetuses. They claim 30-150 million *children* have died from failed attempts at IVF.

They randomly throw out cloning for some reason.

“We allow our passions to take over our reason.” WOW, enough said.

The ‘birth control mentality’ leads us away from the will of God and our actions become more like animals than humans! I can’t believe I have to clarify this, but humans ARE animals, we just happen to be very sophisticated ones. Also HAH they quote the Bloodhound Gang.

Birth control is leading us toward beastiality and pedophilia! These guys just don’t have a stopping point for the offensiveness.

“When we act contrary to god’s will, putting pleasure above authentic love we sink below our dignity as persons.” So, if you use any contraceptive, you’re no longer a person.

They start talking about intentional sterility, of course casting it as a bad thing. “We’re not stray cats that should be neutered, we should want to procreate” because souls.

Pregnancy is not a risk, it’s a privilege! Even and especially if you have some physical problem that might kill you and the fetus, or you can’t afford to feed yourself much less a kid, or simply don’t want to change your lifestyle.

The sin of contraception is “far more attrocious than incest and adultery” according to Martin Luther. Because religious comments made during the Renaissance should be used as the basis for decision-making in the 21st century.

Somehow sacrificing yourself for the will of god will make you happier than… doing things that will make you happy. Like having safe, protected sex with whoever you want.

Tell your friends to stop using contraception because it will destroy their lives! Even more than having unprotected sex and getting an STD or having a child they can’t support!

 

Seriously though, readers: It is your body, your choice. It’s your future and possibly your health on the line. You have the right to choose if and when to have kids, to protect yourself from STDs, and make health decisions for yourself. It’s easy to be sarcastic about these issues, but the reality is that people who support this propaganda literally want you to have zero say in your reproductive health. You are not a slave to your biology, or to any god.

 

Featured image from the Live Pure Movement because it made me LOL.

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Lux

Lux

Lux is a female genderqueer weirdo, writing from Kansas. They happily identify as a militant atheist(+), feminist and liberal. Their time is consumed with Doctor Who, reading, and playing WoW with a cat on their lap. If you're lucky, you might catch them smithing jewellery or cleaning something.

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