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Sex and Sexuality: Masturbation

So what’s on your mind today?

A favourite TV show?

That essay you should really be writing instead of reading about masturbation? (Hey we’ve all been there).

Onto the hot topic; masturbation. You should probably try it.

So often women, are repressed in their behaviour, be it politely moving away when some creep puts his hands on their waists. Or not speaking up in a general meeting for fear of being shut down because of their gender identity. They are consistently told to appease, to be quiet and most importantly, know nothing about sex because women are delicate pure flowers straight out of some pervert’s wet dream.

Well fuck that.

As someone who is familiar with the feeling of being ‘wrong’ or ‘sinful’ or ‘trampy’ for masturbating. I get it. Society is a piece of garbage for double standards, I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard guys joking about masturbation, talking about porn and generally being open about masturbating. The only people I’ve ever talked to about masturbation are close friends, after about 4 years of thinking I was some kind of freak for wanting to orgasm once in a while.

There is a huge stigma around women masturbating, a stigma which results in girls having limited knowledge of their bodies and sexuality. I’ve known women who are happy in a sexual relationship, but the idea of masturbation seems ‘wrong’ compared to ‘straight sex’.

These views of masturbation stem from a variety of reasons. There’s the patriarchal system which centres all sexual acts around male pleasure and female purity, alongside women being viewed as sex objects (i.e not participants who have autonomy and experience pleasure). Then there are issues within religious teachings that condemn masturbation for everyone which is where certain mythical punishments for masturbating come from (growing hair on your palms for example).  All these issues combine to create a repressed culture around sex and sexual acts, leading to lack of education and understanding of sex.

Well I’m here to tell you something. There is nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing at all. Masturbation is a healthy way to explore your body, your sexuality and how you feel about sex as a concept.

Not everybody wants to masturbate and that is okay. Some people don’t feel sexual attraction and finding that you don’t enjoy masturbation can be helpful in figuring out how you identify within your sexuality. Alternately by masturbating you are able to find what works for you, what you find attractive and how your body responds. Of course sexuality is a complex thing and you can choose to not have sex and still masturbate, just as you can really enjoy sex, but choose not to masturbate, it’s all personal choice. It’s a pretty good way to figure out what makes you tick and what makes you orgasm.

Aside from all the orgasms and figuring out your sexual needs alongside your sexuality, there are a bunch of health benefits to masturbating. Masturbation can help you fall asleep, relieve stress and increases bladder health with the added benefit of increasing pain tolerance. It’s a win: win situation really.

So there you have it.

Masturbation isn’t for everyone, but if it’s something you chose to do, there is no reason to feel guilty. As for anything, it’s about personal choice and your own boundaries.

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floatingmanatee

floatingmanatee

Floatingmanatee also known as Alice, is a certified Zoologist living in Britain and has an unhealthy love of weird creatures. She's bisexual, a lover of books, TV, film and anything else that tells a story. Generally she's either angry or sad or both about the state of the world, but watching youtube videos of cute animals makes her feel better.

Profile pic art: https://www.etsy.com/uk/people/MATTY8080?ref=owner_image_profile_leftnav

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