Carlin on astrology
Regarding astrology: An obstetrician or maternity nurse who weighs between one hundred and two hundred pounds actually exerts a greater gravitational force on a baby at the time of its birth than any of the distant planets that are said to influence a person’s personality and destiny. Why aren’t these bulky, proximate objects factored into the astrological charts that are so carefully laid out?
This statement was tested with an online calculator. If the one used was not wildly inaccurate, even the gravitational force of Jupiter on Earth is orders of magnitude weaker than the force of the nurse.
Someone points out in the comments (thanks, Shanek!) that Phil Plait cleared this up in one of his videos on Youtube. Jupiter has a gravitational pull 3 times stronger than a person standing right next to you. Averaging out all the planets, it’s barely stronger than a person standing right next to you…but he points out in the video, any nearby mountain probably exerts more force.