So, I got bored on the internet again ( a very dangerous thing to do, kids ) and started reading around. I realized I didn’t really know a lot about what people learn in church, besides God and Jesus. So I read a little from some church websites about what they believe and I read about salvation.
Basically, you don’t have to do anything to be saved. God just has to love you. Aparently God loves you because Jesus was born and then died. I figured that since EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD was born and then dies, God must love us a whole flippin’ lot. Anyways, it never really says what God is saving you from, so I assumed that they’re leaving it up to the imagination. How generous!
So let’s stretch our imagination muscles for a moment. Let’s imagine that God loves us. God loves us so much that he says “Yo, I love you soooo much, dawg. In fact, homie, I love you so much, that you can choose 5 things, and I’ll save you from them.” (I’m trying to modernize this for all you young folk…)
You slap him a high-five and yell “Score!” and then you proceed to list the 5 things you want to be totally and absolutely safe from. What 5 things do you choose to be saved from?
My picks are:
(If we’re still pretending): 1. Bad hair days 2. Annoying people 3. Listening to bad music 4. Being hit by meteor from outer space! 5. Homework
(If this happened FOR REALZ): 1. Sickness (yes I just knocked out all sicknesses, including but not limited to: the common cold, flu, cancer, alzheimer’s, rabies, cooties, etc…) 2. War 3. Bullets (or is that included in war?) 4. Suffocating/Drowning 5. Homework.