The Truth about Feminism

Teen Skepchick is, primarily, a skeptical site. But we are affiliated with the feminism movement because our goal is to help women enter skeptical activism, which is primarily male dominated. I cannot vouch for the rest of the bloggers here but I, myself, am a self proclaimed feminist. When I saw this You Tube video I knew the jig was finally up. Since Barbarossaaaa (those last three a’s stand for available attractive armadillo) and his pals have clearly already figured it out I might as well say it myself.

The whole time I have been a feminist I’ve secretly been working toward the elimination of the father and, eventually, men as a whole. Even when I wasn’t writing about feminist topics I put secret subliminal messages in my posts that make men loose their fertility over time. I’ve even come up with a 5 Step Plan to End All Men™. Yeah, it’s true. Taking a cue from comic book super villains I will now tell you all my plan so you may marvel at it’s brilliance and tremble in fear.

1. Unite the world under a single totalitarian leader (preferably myself).

2.Catalog every human being on the planet via a retinal scan. Then tattoo a bar code on their skin, so they can be easily identified. (One might say the retinal scan was unnecessary if your just going to put a bar code on them. And they’d be right. I just think retinal scans are cool.)

3. Castrate and/or put a chastity belt on every male on the planet. (Take your pick, boys! Castration chastity belt or both!)

4. Any woman that wants to have a baby will have to file paper work with the state and pass a mothering test. All sperm used for in vitro fertilization will be of the XX verity. So no new males will be born.

5. Some men will be bound to be hiding in the sewers, the jungle, the mountains and remote villages in third world countries only accessible by canoe. Wow that’s a lot of places. Probably the easiest thing to do would be to give every cataloged citizen a gas mask and release toxic gas across the whole planet. It would make the earth deadly toward people but it’s worth it just to get rid of those men.

Now that I’ve written my 5 Step Plan to End All Men™ down it’s not sounding as good as it did in my head. Why am I going through all this anyway? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier just to try to maintain something as close to equality as I can? By Jorge, I’ve got it! Feminism isn’t about a nightmare scenario where government controls breeding and men are pitiful, stripped of the only source of self esteem they have. Feminism is about getting women out of the kitchen and into the workplace. Where they should be respected, not because of their gender, but for the quality of their work.

Maybe Mr. Armadillo needs to realize that the people calling for and end to the father, if there really are any, are extremists and do not represent the majority of feminists. It’s not either a nuclear family with the father as the head or lesbian bone-marrow sex. And maybe I need to not write posts at 1:30 A.M.

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Lyra Lynx

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  1. the Green Onion
    June 21, 2010 at 7:55 am —

    I’m a male feminist. Here in Norway, the feminist movement has been hijacked by extremists, so I’d like to get rid of a few misconceptions:
    Feminists do NOT hate men. Gender separatists are NOT feminists. Women who study science are NOT “unfeminine”. You CAN wear make-up and high heels and still be a feminist. You CAN be a housewife and still be a feminist.
    Thank you.

  2. im_robertb
    July 1, 2010 at 11:41 pm —

    The following comment is in reply to the Green Onion, not to the main article posted. My response to the article is as follows: You’re right. That’s ridiculous. I really don’t have much to say about it.

    So, Green Onion.

    Feminists do not hate men?
    Some of them do.

    Gender separatists are not feminists?
    Some of them are.

    The big problem with the undergraduate research study I did this year was trying to find a means of measuring feminist attitudes. Doing so requires saying “these are feminist attitudes, those are not”. Fortunately, we found some work that had done just that, determining which of their questions provided the best measurement of feminist attitudes by factor analysis.

    Of the 20 best items, 4 of them were statements favoring equality for women, and a subject who agrees with the statement is expressing a feminist attitude. *16* of them were misogynistic statements, and a subject who disagrees is similarly expressing a feminist attitude. What I’m getting at is that trying to empirically show what feminism is ends up arriving at the statement “Feminism is anti-misogyny”, which can be rephrased as “Feminism is not misogynistic.”

    Not much of a definition, but it’s about all that people can agree on. I’ve had Christians tell me that Catholics aren’t real Christians; I suppose they were using a definition more exclusive than “People who think Christ was pretty neat.”

    My definition of a feminist is “anyone who claims to be one”. You seem to disagree; I interpret your comments as saying “Anyone who hates men or is a gender separatist is not a feminist.” But they say they are. Why is it that you get to decide what real feminism is, and they don’t?

    I think the original poster put it best: they are extremists and do not represent the majority of feminists. Just like how this Youtuber is an extremist and does not represent the majority of (whatever you want to call him)s.

    Citation for article discussed above, with the 20 items: Smith, E.R., Ferree, M.M. & Miller, F.D. (1975) “A short scale of attitudes toward feminism.” Representative Research in Social Psychology, 6: 51-56.

  3. July 5, 2010 at 12:25 pm —

    Uh, are you guys not getting that she’s making a joke?

    But maybe it’s just that I’m a humorless feminist ;p

    A very interesting citation, I’ll have to look that up.

  4. im_robertb
    July 5, 2010 at 3:02 pm —

    I get the joke Lyra made. I was just responding to The Green Onion’s assertions on what feminism is and isn’t.

  5. Lyra Lynx
    July 25, 2010 at 10:24 pm —

    Bug Girl is right. I was making a joke. I was experimenting with a writing style called a spoof or satire.

    As a young writer I am flirting with different styles to find the one I can best use to convey my message. I don’t think I will do a spoof again. It takes a lot of guts and a lot of skill to make a good spoof. To make it almost believable except for a little wink and a nod that says it’s a joke. Even the best satire professionals have a number of people that think their serious.

    I think I will stick with straight up say-what-I’m-thinking style writing. It’s crazy but it just might work.

  6. the Green Onion
    July 26, 2010 at 9:22 am —

    I got the joke (and it’s a good one), and I also just realized that I fell into that good ol’ No True Christian/Feminist/Scotsman trap when I wrote this. It was foolish of me to assume that people who don’t agree with me don’t have the right to call themselves feminists.
    Thanks, im_robertb, for putting
    things right.

  7. NoAstronomer
    August 30, 2010 at 3:17 pm —

    1. I’m down with that. You can be a totalitarian leader if you want. So long as the fridge is well stocked.

    2. Tattoos are cool. Is 666 taken?

    3. Chastity belt. Definitely a chastity belt. I’ll figure out how to open it with a hair pin later. You girls do still have hair pins right?

    4. More women + less competition = sounds great. Believe me, I need all the ‘less competition’ I can get.

    5. Pah! Those of us in the Men Against the Lyra Empire movement have gas-masks already.

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