Alternative MedicineReligion and Spirituality

An Ex-Christian Testimonial (Making Fun of Ex-Gay Conversion)

I have a tendency to be all serious about activism. A lot of the issues we discuss here on the blog are politically intense and sometimes publicly controversial. However, sometimes we need to take a break from the gravity of it all and have a laugh.

Ex-gay conversion therapy is hugely controversial, very ineffective, and highly offensive. I, for the sake of your humor, watched a lot of ex-gay testimonial videos on YouTube and extracted some of my favorite themes. The wording and language has been changed to frame the perspective of an atheist talking about their conversion from Christianity. This is going to sound rational(ish) until you start putting the original words back in context and realize that it’s completely insane.


~This is for all those living in the Christian lifestyle, who want out. If you’re struggling with your faith and feeling like you’re a slave to your church, I’m here to tell you that Science is the only way. You have to accept Charles Darwin’s word as the truth as we know it. You have to make Reason the boss in your life.

Being in the Christian life was terrible. I used to wander from church to church, never for more than one sermon, never finding one I was happy with. I’m not even sure why I got into church, I was never molested by a priest. Maybe I thought “Hey, if I have a religion, maybe people will like me better!” I don’t even remember anymore.

There was a lot of loneliness in the Christian community; it seemed that after their chanting was over, they forgot the teachings of their deity and became huge assholes. I began to feel isolated and alone. I started drinking as much communion wine as possible to saturate myself in delirious spirituality. Religion was taking me down the road to intellectual destruction.

Finally, a friend of mine persuaded me to come to an AA meeting. As I looked around at the smiling faces, something changed inside me. Suddenly I wanted to accept and embrace Reason and Science as the methods of reaching logical conclusions. I stood up and said, proudly “Hi, everyone, I’m an atheist!” (Haha, because it’s an American Atheists meeting, and not Alcoholics Anonymous.)

After that, atheism and many of the issues that accompany it became the center of my life. Being around hardcore Skeptics showed me how to think for myself and reveal my true potential.

I remember feeling so ashamed about my faith. But now, I’ve found freedom in Science instead of being trapped in the oppressive Christian life.~


So there’s that. Hopefully you were at least remotely tickled. Happy Friday!

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Lux is a female genderqueer weirdo, writing from Kansas. They happily identify as a militant atheist(+), feminist and liberal. Their time is consumed with Doctor Who, reading, and playing WoW with a cat on their lap. If you're lucky, you might catch them smithing jewellery or cleaning something.

1 Comment

  1. June 5, 2012 at 10:09 am —

    This was fantastic. Hahaha

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